Noise

The most frightening moments are those when all my clarity and conviction abandons me. I see another directionless journey ahead of me.

Strangers becoming boring because they don’t understand. Friends become boring because they understand too well.

My ideals become reality and crumble in my deromanticization. I need to build another dream.

I have successfully, albeit tragically, disillusioned myself of all the beautiful things that surround me.

I think people have me figured out. And their responses are automated.

The future does not excite me with its material possibilities. I am averse to accumulating useless knowledge. People nauseate me.

I know what I want. A baby.

Go Back

It was important to write.

I thought you were not one of them. I think you are not one of them. I am not trying to load a huge responsibility on your shoulders by pedestalizing you and setting high standards for you. I am not into guilt manipulation.

Are you one of them? One more of them? If so, just tell me. I don’t want to shatter myself one more time.

I have cozy silences and my dark bedroom to go back to. And my mute pillows. Once in a way someone like you flits in my dreams. And only once you have flit by in my reality. I want to keep my eyes closed so I can trap this dream inside me forever. I always ask for a lot.

They say that the dreamy ones are lazy. I think the dreamy ones are the ones that struggle hard to keep the pieces in the puzzle intact. Others don’t care.

I cannot deny that it hurts. Yet, this is not the first time I have not been someone’s priority. I have never been anyone’s priority. And I have stopped asking.

Now let me just wander into a quaint place in my mind that you cannot see. And there I will do the things that comfort me.

Your real world needs you. Go back.

Boredom

The problem with living inside your head is that you might finish living your dreams before they get fulfilled in reality.

Gtalk Themes

Click on the link above to download Help.pdf and MyTheme .rar

Extract MyTheme.rar to your computer

Read Help.pdf and install MyTheme.exe to your computer

This program was given to me by a friend. It is an awesome way to set background pictures in your gtalk chat windows. It also enables another feature that is sorely missed in gtalk. Emoticons! Yeah, you get loads of them with this theme. This is a nice way to add some color to your gtalk! Have fun!

Hahaha!

Friend:u cant be a wife

Friend:u dont know how to be one

Friend:i dont see anything wifey in u

Me:yeah like u know how to be a husband

Me:lol

Friend:u wud thrash me to death if i married u

Me:exactly

Me:how the hell did u know

Me: dammit

Me: you are clairvoyant

Friend:see my instincts r pretty good

Law of Blog Comments

The number of comments to a blog post is inversely proportional to its length.

Confession: I don’t know shit about maths so don’t expect any more elucidation on this law.

Away

End of the day I am just the language I think in and the languages that I don’t understand. All of it put together.

I wrote a story:

It was 2.00 PM in the middle of Mount Road. The odour of burning tar invaded the nostrils of the few pedestrians who had dared to venture out in the heat. Everybody had something to do.

Some hundred people had been ruthlessly stuffed into a bus like ruffled duck feathers. A few of them were sticking out in all directions. The bus obstinately continued its journey shrieking like an asymmetrical banshee.

The pavements were generously blessed with spittles and betelnut stains. They held the crumbs from the feet of a thousand wayfarers and stood unflinching. A wilted banana skin smiled like comic relief. There were odd dogs, sweaty library-goers and cyclists.

There was white noise. And the typical afternoon icecream bell. The mosque harbored plump pigeons that sought respite in its cozy crevices. The signals monotonously influenced butterfly effects, without so much as a sigh. Some truants had escaped school early and were biting into raw mango slivers coated with chilli powder.

The bustle was intimidating. Death lunged forward like a speeding bus or a careening auto. The black and white lines of the pedestrian crossing looked abandoned like violated rules.

Madness. Women heaved huge shopping bags into air-conditioned cars that stood like crazy Greek Gods who had descended to the ghettoes. Young girls giggled by with their dupattahs fluttering in the hot noon breeze. All was neutral like intense lethargy juxtaposed with incredible activity. Everybody was getting somewhere. Really?

In the middle of the mindless drone and chaos, sat a lonely translucent void. It was occupied by a cripple upon a tricycle. He had traveled a hundred miles by hand. From one street to another. Baby steps. Like withering shadows that grow upon nameless walls, his feet dangled in vulnerable suspension. His irrelevance was enormously relevant. Where is everybody running? Away from him.

Like a powerful epiphany he sat, momentously conjuring up tears upon onlookers’ eyes. In him they saw a personification of their own insignificance. A desconstruction of their safe shields of escapism. In him they saw the truth. Stripped to bare circumstances. They could not hide in their heavily-painted dance masks any more. They suffocated under their layers of silks. The air-condition singed their perfect skins. And they had an intense, irresistible urge to run. They wanted to run away from the one who embodied their own handicaps. They wanted to find the use for their efficient yet immobile limbs. They wanted to quickly retreat into their comfortable lives and forget that suffering existed. They were guilty and embarassed about his condition and they knew not why. He mirrored their own poverty of the soul.

Like a symbol in a suppressed deluge of emotions, he wheeled himself away. To encounter another set of hollow humans.

He who has legs let him run. Away from the truth, away from the self, away, away, away.

Hmm.. Interesting..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U._G._Krishnamurti

Color

My niece and I colored from her coloring book. er… I colored from my niece’s coloring book.

I beg to disagree

Some common proverbs that are being thrust upon us.

1. Don’t worry. Be happy!

Yeah right!

2. Take life as it comes.

No I won’t! It usually comes crappy.

3. Looks don’t matter.

When was the last time you dated a proboscis monkey?

4. You can cross the bridge when you come to it.

The last time you said that I found myself under 50 feet water.

5. Tomorrow never comes.

Yesterday never goes. Today always sucks.

6. Do in Rome as Romans do.

What the hell do Romans do? Have 15 pints of beer at midnight and puke all over the rug (the one that tied the room together)?

7. Desire is the root cause of all evil.

No. Proverbs are.

8. A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

So why am I so hated? *sniff*

9. Winners never quit. Quitters never win.

Winners never quit winning. Ergo, quitters never quit quitting.

10. Never, never, never, never, give up!

Who is the poor mortal at the receiving end? And, try doing that with your 4 year old neice who is bawling her ass off for the cake on your plate.