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It’s sad to realize that people we give our souls to, do not even give us their phone numbers.
I prefer to write shorter things nowadays. Maybe because after a couple of thoughts everything is silent.
I have a secret blog where I had been writing. And I also started a book and stopped after a few chapters. It was anomalous.
Waiting for the drizzle to turn into rain… meantime ..more silence.
I was trying to read Finnegan’s Wake and then I remembered Schizophasia.
1. I have had a haircut and now I sport some bangs.
2. I can make some yummy sambar, rasam and mac&cheese.
3. I wash my own clothes.
4. I sweep and mop the floor at home.
5. Bangalore is heaven on earth.
6. Kisses taste good.
7. I wear two gold rings.
8. I visited 3 temples last month but did not pray even once.
9. I light a lamp in the Pooja room at home but that is just functional.
10. I found time to read “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini in the second week after my wedding.
After a hiatus of over 4 months I have returned. As a different person. This blog reminds me of the Bohemian past that I had once inhabited. Insanity, impulsiveness, rebellion and restlessness. That was me.
Now I have calmed down a great deal. Silenced all my histrionic narcissism and the need for drama. The inferno has been quelled and my mind is now a gentle oven for incubation of thoughts and secrets.
I have found a special world in secrets. In quietness. In control.
On the 8th of May I got married to a very lovable and gentle human being. Now I have found more time for life and less time for rants and raves.
The poetry that frothed and foamed like a wave is now contained like a mirror. And in its reflection I see tranquility and purpose. I am not a driftwood any more. A wandering soul picked me up from the shores of forgetfulness and gave me a name and a concept to personify.
Knowledge does not pain me. Predictability does not bore me. I have discovered that I too am living the human destiny of innocence, rebellion and eventual acceptance. Life is a beautiful religion.
Peace.
