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I am making a list of things I find easy and a list of things I wish I could.
It is easy for me to:
- Speak my mind and face the consequences
- Delete people from my life
- Allow new people into my life
- Appreciate chocolates
- Make a ruthless study of myself and others
- Hurt the closest of my friends recklessly
- Say “sorry”
- Say “no”
- Giggle a lot
- Laugh at myself
It is difficult for me to:
- Manage money
- Smile and socialize with people I hate
- Put myself in the martyr’s or the fool’s shoes
- Accept rejection
- Accept disappointments
- Accept change of plans
- Accept things I cannot change
- Understand why the hell people just won’t shut up and do as I say
Bloody there is nothing that I cannot change! There I go again! Oh god… someone save me from myself! 
Forgive the bulleted list. It is one of my favorite genres.
When do you know you are addicted to Orkut?
When your smilies look like this [:)] [:(] [:x]
This post is dedicated to some of my psychopath friends.
It is 1.10 am. There are voices in my head.
Me and my friend get into the train and there is a couple who just get in. The girl is pregnant and they don’t have a lower berth. I’m on a lower berth. They seem to be thinking they have two lower berths whereas they have none. The wife is worried like crazy. The husband is thinking that there is one lower berth but later realizes he has to go to the upper berth and the wife climbs to the middle berth. They could have asked me but I recently had a broken bone remember? I lie down on my lower berth, make myself comfortable and fish out “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac. Then I fall asleep even as I’m reading…
Every possible derailment news story comes to my mind. I’m really worried in what position I’ll be stuck if there is a derailment. Can I really crawl out of where I would be? Will the driver know that certain compartments have got derailed or will he continue to drive the train and will I wake up in middle of the meadows. I have a disturbed sleep.
I wake up at 5.15 am promptly and do so many funny things like walking up and down, asking someone where the train is at present, etc. Then I wake my friend up at 5.30. We make such a lot of rustling bed clothes, ruffling covers and whispering and giggling that everyone else is up. Now everyone is looking daggers at us. We behave like nothing has happened and look outside the window with sly smiles. >:)
We get off the train and the hot air and smelly platforms remind me I’m back at the most horrid place on earth – Chennai. I’ll have more reminders. Me and my friend drag our luggage and find the prepaid auto stand. We should have walked half the distance home. Before we could go to the counter we have umpteen auto drivers trying to lure us away. We ignore them and get the prepaid tickets to our respective places. I go ahead and I forget to say bye to her. As soon as I go to the auto stand, I hear the auto men rain expletives at each other, simply for the fun of it. They seem to be having a ball calling my auto driver names in front of me. Irritation is beginning to show up in me. I get into the auto quietly. A few metres ahead there is a guy checking the prepaid ticket. And my auto driver makes some cheap comment about what I presumed was an intended vasectomy on the guy. By now, I was really pissed off.
I told the auto guy, “You and your friends are behaving very indecent.” And he said “Who?”. Then I said “You have been speaking swear words ever since I got into the auto”. The auto guy is perturbed.
The the following argument ensues:
Auto guy: They are my friends. This is how we talk.”
I: Don’t do that in front of me. I don’t have to put up with it.
Auto guy: This is like our home. You’re inside our home. You better behave the way we tell you to.
I:If I complain to the police that you’re all engaging in eve-teasing then you’ll get beaten up right inside your home.
Auto guy: We’re friends. We have been friends all our lives. We always speak like this.
I: Don’t you have some professionalism?
Auto guy: Your work style is different. Our work style is different.
I: Then you change your work style.
Auto guy: (stops the auto) Madam! Please get off from the auto. If you can come quietly you come. No need to advise me.
I: I still think what you did is wrong and you’re trying to justify it.
He asks me for the prepaid ticket. I refuse to give it. I tear it in bits and put it inside my bag 
. I get off the auto and take another auto for 12 rupees more. I have no regrets.
Back to my gloomy apartment I find there is a power cut. I heave my luggage up two floors and collapse on the sofa, gasping for breath.
Yeah baby! You’re back to the grind! 
Tiny rain falls like ant kisses
And atmospheric dew love
Tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny
Fleeting balloon touch
Flimsy butterfly feelers
Powdery wings
Leaf tips on cheeks
Tiny abundant love
Chewy rubberbands
Landing in whispers
Gnaw gnaw gnaw
Urgent squirrel feet
Jumpy tails
Odorless colorless love
Transparent.
It rained when I was at work. I took a short walk outside and then wrote this.
A wind sock is soaked to sleep
Goldfish in the pond evade ripples
Lightning stretches out a dangerous finger
Grass paints green upon weary eyes
Everything rains.
The dog unwinds
In the evening dust
A day full of aimless trotting
Sniffing beetles
Chasing crows
Nipping at invisible squirrels
Scratching
Kicking up dirt
The dog runs in circles
Tired and panting
At twilight it lies down
On the warm tar road
With twitching eyebrows
And an automatic tail
It howls inaudibly
To dispel the silence.
1. Don’t worry! Remember the punk wannabe on the pulsar who just cut you across to overtake you at 80 kmph? You’ll meet him at the next signal.
Inference: You can do 40 kms and get home in 20 mins than do 80 kms in 10 mins and wait 10 mins at the signal.
2. Try to concentrate on the centre of the black haze in front of your eyes after a high beam headlight hits you square on the face.
Inference: Your headlights could be on high-beam too!
3. There is always a pot hole.
Inference: There is always a pot hole.
4. An auto-man always wants his U-turn
Inference: Give an auto man his U-turn and your limbs are intact.
5. Watch out for the moron who slides between a bus and a car to go to office on time.
Inference: You are the moron!
6. Watch out for the old man who rides at 10 kmph on the flyover!
Inference: You are behind him and in front of a bus speeding at 80 kmph.
7. Watch out for the gay men who actually don’t know if they are riding on the median
Inference: You are the median!
8. Ignore the moron who honks when the signal is red and the timer says 98.
Inference: Some people are color blind and illiterate.
9. Never rush when the timer says 1. It is no indication the signal is green.
Inference: Sometimes timers are only there to give counting lessons.
10. Practice zen and the art of motorcycle rider maintenance.
Inference: GET HOME ALIVE!
I used to follow cricket when I was a kid. Now I’ve grown out of it. The few sports I enjoy watching are basket ball, figure skating and swimming. I like x-sports too … but somehow cricket seems too sensory for someone like me. Yawwnnn.. a Saturday evening goes wasted because all my friends are glued to the stupid TV watching some buffoons with white cream on their nose, running on a green field after a red ball.
My man (who does not watch cricket,) where art thou?
