Ten things to remember while riding in Chennai Traffic:

1. Don’t worry! Remember the punk wannabe on the pulsar who just cut you across to overtake you at 80 kmph? You’ll meet him at the next signal.

Inference: You can do 40 kms and get home in 20 mins than do 80 kms in 10 mins and wait 10 mins at the signal.

2. Try to concentrate on the centre of the black haze in front of your eyes after a high beam headlight hits you square on the face.

Inference: Your headlights could be on high-beam too!

3. There is always a pot hole.

Inference: There is always a pot hole.

4. An auto-man always wants his U-turn

Inference: Give an auto man his U-turn and your limbs are intact.

5. Watch out for the moron who slides between a bus and a car to go to office on time.

Inference: You are the moron!

6. Watch out for the old man who rides at 10 kmph on the flyover!

Inference: You are behind him and in front of a bus speeding at 80 kmph.

7. Watch out for the gay men who actually don’t know if they are riding on the median

Inference: You are the median!

8. Ignore the moron who honks when the signal is red and the timer says 98.

Inference: Some people are color blind and illiterate.

9. Never rush when the timer says 1. It is no indication the signal is green.

Inference: Sometimes timers are only there to give counting lessons.

10. Practice zen and the art of motorcycle rider maintenance.

Inference: GET HOME ALIVE!