Oddball Speaketh

I am insecure. Let me admit. I feel old and unattractive. And I feel stupid. I wish I would grow up and not seek the approval of other people but unfortunately for me I have given some people the power to trample over me.

How I wish I was someone else! Damn damn damn! And everyone has been telling me I’m fine.. and I cannot believe them.. whereas I would willingly believe someone who tells me I’m not ok. Low self-worth? Whatever you wanna call it… It sucks!

I only wish I could see my own worth… for whatever it is… and not compare myself to some entities who outwardly seem better than me. I want to believe I’m good in my own way, with whatever I have been through…

I have been tough through the worst periods of my life but at other times I’m all over the place for something extraordinarily silly.

I keep wondering if I seem like an oddball because I cannot do all the things that other people do in order to fit in… I AM AN ODDBALL. There is no doubt. Sometimes I wish I was as unimaginative and superficial as certain others I meet day after day.

My hair looks horrible no matter what I do to it. I look like Severus Snape (if that is a consolation!)  Gawd I wish I stopped wishing to be like those people who I wish I was never like. It all boils down to this fact that I am terribly confused.

Should I stop worrying about such insignificant things and look forward to my ten-day trip to Bangalore?

9 thoughts on “Oddball Speaketh

  1. And that was one really really LOUD thinking. Should I give some hi-fi sounding tips on how U can get Ur life on track?!? I would ask U to continue with the inner turmoil and come up with a solution urself. Most importantly, avoid the suggestions from ppl like me!!!

    Cheers,
    Nagesh.

  2. Be happy of whatever you are. You are a great persona. I belive that to achieve happiness, we should make certain that we are never without an important goal.

  3. CM, I think you should just chill out and do something new, something that you like. Enjoy the experience of doing whatever it is that you do, and try to learn new things from it. Try also to bring new things to it.

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