A Plea

He disarms her before hurting her.

There are little quadrants of her mind which are sensitive to love. She hides them because they are still healing from earlier times. And she trusts him to feel the scars and to understand that they hurt. Yet he forgets. And he unwittingly opens an old scar. Ones she wants to believe have healed already. Ones she applies affirmations upon. Scars that reduce her to a little worthless entity when she is all by herself.  Scars that are her fears. Her insecurities. Her emotional anomalies. Vulnerabilities.  She is not mentally healthy. And by blaming her for it, you’re not going to heal her. By rejecting her for it, you’re not going to heal her. By leaving the little kitten out in the cold, you’re not going to teach her to endure. She will probably die there. Sometimes people need blankets of love. It is not wrong to ask. It is not wrong to be emotionally dependent. It is not wrong to lean on someone. It is not wrong to kneel down and tell someone you love them. It is not wrong to put away your prejudices and sit on the ground. It is not wrong to let them do what they want to do, if they badly need it, even if years of schooling have taught you that it is not orthodox.  Burn your conditioning and fears when you step into the realm of love. Here everything is fair.

I could have gone to my school if I wanted rules. I could have gone to a court if I wanted laws. I could have gone to a lonely room and talked to myself, if all I wanted to hear was my own voice. I could have gone to a room full of strangers if I wanted to be left alone. But, why did I come to you? What have you got in you that I need? Just think. Please think. Because all my future hopes hang on to your willingness to think about this. If you refuse, then I will once again be out in the cold. Among strangers and begging for warmth. I respect all your need for space, time and privacy. Yet, this is a request. For this short period, when our lives intersected, this is all I ask of you. I don’t want expensive gifts. I don’t even want to interfere into your real life. I just want a chance. I think I deserve it. I think I deserve to be trashed after you think through it and are convinced about it. I don’t want you to trash me the way he did, overnight, without second thought, based on his prejudices, forgetting all that I gave, forgetting how long it would take for me to recover, how he hurt me. I don’t want that story to repeat. I certainly know you have more kindness in your heart than him. Without hurting your self-respect or mine, I ask for this one last wish to be fulfilled. Please put aside some time for this little person who appeared in your life, for whatever reasons. I have buried my anger. I have buried my prejudices. I have no ego. I am ready to talk. I am ready to answer your questions. I am ready to accept your judgments if they are reasonable and well thought out. I am ready to end it silently without adding any drama to it. I am ready to give it a solemn funeral. Yet, let the death be complete and peaceful.

One thought on “A Plea

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s