Relapse

How many times will I fall and how many more times will I rise.

People have been watching all my one-act plays. They wonder what color this creature would assume next and what metamorphosis this mutant would undergo next.

I thought compromise was a challenge but now I know I don’t care for that kind of a challenge.

I am not going to settle for anything less than the best that I knew and loved.

I know why I stop myself just before the last step.. it’s the fear of losing him. The day he leaves me for another would probably be the day I die.

I remember you said I will always have a corner in your heart… it means the world to me and I will live in that world.

Despite my many moulds and many seasons, he is the only thing that has kept me going. I have tried to make my mind believe that I have gotten over him… maybe I have gotten over his absence..

Why do I wake up in the morning and feel like nobody else can take your place in my life? Why does physicality seem irrelevant when I think of you… even your absence does not hurt any more…and I feel like I can live the rest of my life with the images inside my head.

Why do I go back to you when oppressed by superficiality?

What is it between you and me? Why do you haunt me?

Why does it pain so much…. and why do I try so hard to replace you with obnoxious others? I know I’m fighting a losing battle… you will win eventually…

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