The death of poems from the past in their futile search for meaning..

iz
Fragments of memories
Fling themselves around me
Like tattered shreds of dreams
What this music does to me
I cannot explain.
I lied today
To hide my love
That spilled out of me
Like first showers
I concealed its hidden tinges
I tightened the noose around its neck

Iz
He will not.

In loneliness
The beauty of time
Stands still
Like a broken hourglass.

Will my old poems die
When their meaning is gone?
Why has life not chosen me
For the high valleys
Of warmth and sunshine
Why do I bleed?
Gripped by the thorny throttle
Of a life
That is neither here nor there.
iz
Are there sunshines?
Or the imaginary butterflies
And colours that grow
In the garden of my mind?
Are there blue skies?
Around me
There is darkness
And the bleached pallor
Of a faded shroud.
There are broken twigs
Torn pages
Crumpled desires
Thrown about in indifference
And haste.
There is ruthlessness.
There is a lady called death
Walking by
With a twisted smile.
There is a self
Bent by the weight of tears
There is loneliness
Gazing at the ticking clock.
There are voices
Of denied tomorrows
Of deluded yesterdays
And vivid dreams
I am in love with sadness
And death…
iz
Why do I wish
To be carried away
To a land of fresh love?
Why do many formless candles
Or inane drops of hope
Suspended in nothingness
Not show me
That molten mirrors
Are neither warm
Nor icy cold.
All reflections on the ripples
Of a hazy past
Descend down deeper
Into a frozen stillness called me.

iz and truth

iz
I believed I would sleep
After tomorrow dawned
Yet I am awake
Plastered to reality
To walk through
Another day full of strangers.
Here I live
In a world of accusations
Of guilt that licks my insides
Like an uncertain promise.
iz you blossomed
Only like a broken reed
Not with bags of jingling lies
Not like fresh roses
Or fragrant rooms of opulence.
You swept in like a pain
That shows me myself
Like a shattered mirror
With many pieces of me.
iz with you..
There is no lazy comfort
Or masks of self-deception
There is no dull bliss
Or easy smiles.
With you there is beautiful sorrow
Dry petals
Dying days
Truth.

Resurrect Dy…

Somewhere between
Reality and a sprouting dream
I met you iz…
Now hot tar runs over my shadow
An aeon has passed
Like a second
Why did you?
The sand suffocates me
Your fingers have to heal
And send love light to me
I will die like a fallen bud.
Dreadful nightmares
Throng here iz..
The empty streets of reality
Smother me
A weary numbness
Has killed the last scent
Of blue young love in me
Poetry now trickles
Like a shallow stream
Of lifelessness.
I know I have lost something
Yet I have lost the need to know..
Iz dream me up again
Kill me not
Upon a mad girl’s intrusion..
Her failed attempts to live me
Iz raise me up
Again from breathlessness
And burning fumes
That engulf my spirit
Carrying me to a world of apathy.
Iz, take me away
To a world unborn
Like the crystalline tears
Of a deep sea pearl
Unreal and undreamt of.

– Dy

Lunatically Yours

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 66% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Antisocial |||||||||| 34% Borderline |||||||||||||| 54% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 66% Narcissistic |||||||||||||||||| 78% Avoidant |||||||||||| 46% Dependent |||||||||| 38% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||| 34%

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Disorder Info

Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal

Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder – individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.

Schizoid
Personality Disorder – individual generally detached from social
relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in
various social settings.

Schizotypal
Personality Disorder – individual is uncomfortable in close
relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities
of behavior.

Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic

Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions,
distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.

Antisocial Personality Disorder – individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

Borderline
Personality Disorder – individual shows a generalized pattern of
instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable
emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Histrionic
Personality Disorder – individual often displays excessive emotionality
and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to
other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.

Narcissistic
Personality Disorder – individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a
need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early
adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are
very demanding in their relationships.

Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive

Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.

Avoidant Personality Disorder – individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism

Dependent
Personality Disorder – individual shows an extreme need to be taken
care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging
behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive
Personality Disorder – individual is preoccupied with orderliness,
perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and
efficiency.

Loving you is a Holy War

Being in love with you is a holy war
Even you cannot intrude
What do I care for your mortal responses
Or your twisted perceptions of its beauty
What do I care for your warped vision
Or the painful analogies you dream up
You can stab our love
A hundred times in its heart
I am here to save it from your clutches
I am here to remind our love
Of the beautiful times we had together
I love you and I love our love
All you can see with your astigmatic eyes
Are the future and the past
My love transcends all
And stands unpolluted by your malice
Your vicious criticism
Does not dissect its sacred heart
Your lies cannot touch its sanctity
My love hides in the safe depths
Of my ripped heart
I shall protect it till death
And neither you
Nor your clan of plunderers
Can reach to it
And touch it with your sinful hands
Loving you is a crusade
That is beyond you
Or your stunted understanding.